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  • Writer's pictureVaishali A. Patel

Share Your Debt and Sorrow

Would you tell people in your circle if you were in debt or terminally ill? ⁠

“Dukh ane dard ek beejaa saathe vehchavu” (Share your sorrows and your debts with others) is a saying in Gujarati. ⁠

I hear this often from our grandma. We as Desi people are a tight knit community, and we are there for each other in the times of our needs. Ma’s intention behind this phrase is that when you are experiencing pain or sorrows alone, it is easy to get caught up in our fears, doubts, shame and be in the spiral of all that internal turmoil. Our egos however weaken when we share and are vulnerable around others about our shortcomings and sufferings. ⁠

I have also heard “Don’t share your troubles with others”. When we are experiencing sorrow or pain, we are surrounded by negativity and sharing it with someone else just doubles this negativity. Although their intentions may be to help, they will also say “I am so sorry, poor you, this has to be hard” and more. These words and thoughts are filled with negativity as well. Many folks will make you feel worse about the situation, so they can feel good about their own troubles and lives. ⁠

To me, however, the first one makes more sense, but I say be selective who you share your sorrows and troubles with. I want that person to lift me up, simply listen without any feedback, and if they must have some ,then let it be positive so that I can see this is all temporary and this too shall pass. ⁠

Which one do you agree with or disagree with?

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