"I have raised my daughter like a son” (Maari dikari ne dikaraa ni jem moti kari chhe) hmmm...
How about “I have raised my son like a daughter”? (Maaraa dikaraa ne dikari ni jem moto karyo chhe”?)
Progressive Desi parents say this with pride that they are so open-minded that they are raising their daughters to be independent, to be educated and to earn their own livings. Traditionally, in a patriarchal society, women or girls stayed at home, cooked, cleaned, raised their children, and were not educated and did not earn a living.
This is great that times are changing and people are giving their daughters the same opportunities, however what hasn’t changed is that the women got these wonderful new independent things to do, and yet are still required to hold a house, raise children and other domestic tasks.
Equality in true sense will be when ALL tasks needed to create a happy and healthy home are divided amongst the family members regardless of their gender. Boys need to learn all domestic tasks just as much girls do. How often do you go to a Desi gathering where men are still served food and they eat and clean up is left to the women? Oh and God forbid if a single male chooses to help cook or clean, he is considered a “woose” or “whipped”.
Our family is no exception, but we are all working on changing this. Giving and teaching the tasks of doing dishes, vaccuming, doing laundry, grocery shopping, and more to the men and boys in the house is a great place to start. You as a parent can take pride in saying I am raising my son like my daughter. Few things that may work are to divide the days of cooking and cleaning, make it clear before meals start what job is whose, switch it up often so no one is bored, intentionally give non-traditional tasks to each gender.
What are some ways you are practicing this if you are in your home?
Looking for other ways to educate and build independence in your daughter? Sign up for language classes to help her become bilingual!
You can join my mailing list here to know when sessions are about to begin.